Infidelity & Cheating Recovery Treatment & Evaluation in Austin and Surrounding Areas
Discovering a partner’s betrayal can feel like your body gets the news before your mind does—stomach dropping, heart racing, sleep gone. The world tilts. You replay conversations, scan for clues, check phones or timelines, and still the questions multiply: Was anything real? Am I overreacting? Will I ever trust my radar again? Shame and self-blame tag-team with anger; intrusive images crash your day; even good moments feel booby-trapped by “what ifs.” This isn’t you “being dramatic”—it’s a protective brain-body response to a trust rupture. Many people experience trauma-like symptoms after infidelity: hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, swings in appetite and sleep, numbness followed by waves of grief, and a shaken sense of self. You’re not broken, and you’re not alone. If this is where you are, reach out—I’ll help you steady your nervous system, make sense of what happened, and reclaim your clarity, boundaries, and peace so you can decide what healing looks like for you.
Understanding Infidelity & Cheating Trauma
Plain-English definition: Infidelity is the breaking of trust in a committed relationship, whether through physical, emotional, or digital betrayal.
How it appears in adults: It’s not just tears and arguments — it can show up as anxiety, hypervigilance, low self-worth, obsessive thought loops, or sudden changes in behavior.
Common symptoms and examples:
Flashbacks of the betrayal
Trouble sleeping or eating
Feeling emotionally unstable or “on edge”
Loss of focus or productivity
Intense mood swings between anger, sadness, and numbness
Avoidance of intimacy or, conversely, seeking constant reassurance
Why it’s often missed or misunderstood: Many dismiss infidelity recovery as “relationship counseling,” but the reality is that betrayal trauma impacts mental health much like PTSD — it’s not about weakness, it’s about an injury to trust and safety.
My Diagnostic Process
Comprehensive intake — understanding the betrayal, your relationship history, and how the event is affecting your life now.
Evidence-based assessments — identifying signs of acute stress, PTSD, depression, or anxiety related to the betrayal.
Differential diagnosis — ruling out unrelated conditions that may be complicating your recovery.
Personalized plan — not just a label — designed to address both the emotional aftermath and practical steps for regaining stability.
Treatment Tailored to You
Betrayal trauma therapy: Helping you process the event, regain trust in yourself, and decide on next steps for your relationship.
Coping strategies: Tools for handling triggers, intrusive thoughts, and emotional spikes.
Relationship-focused support: If both partners choose to work toward reconciliation, guided sessions to address communication, transparency, and boundaries.
Optional medication support: For cases where anxiety, depression, or insomnia require additional help.
Why My Practice is Different
Most online advice about infidelity is either overly simplistic (“forgive or move on”) or highly sensationalized. I believe you deserve clear, compassionate, and evidence-based guidance so you can:
Understand your emotional responses without self-blame
Explore all realistic recovery options — together or individually
Gain tools to stabilize your mental health before making life-changing decisions
Actionable Steps You Can Take Today — Infidelity & Cheating
1) Safety first (physical, emotional, sexual health)
If you feel at risk of harm, get to a safe place and contact local emergency services. In the U.S., you can call/text 988 for immediate crisis support.
Protect your health: schedule STI testing for both partners before resuming sexual intimacy; consider pregnancy risk if relevant.
Press pause on major life decisions for 72 hours while you steady your body and sleep.
2) 72-hour stabilization plan (reduce shock + reactivity)
Sleep anchors: fixed wake time, no heavy conversations after 8–9pm, dark room, devices out of bed.
Fuel: protein + complex carbs every 3–4 hours; hydrate on a schedule.
Body reset: 10 minutes of brisk walking or a cold splash/shower when panic spikes.
3) Contain the mental spirals
Create a “questions window” (e.g., 20–30 minutes once daily). Outside that time, jot questions in one note and postpone.
Use stop–sort–soothe:
Stop the scroll/interrogation mid-urge.
Sort the thought: Is this a new fact I need, or an unanswerable what-if?
Soothe the body (slow exhale 6–8 seconds) before you decide what to ask.
4) Ground rules for immediate communication
No overnight interrogations; protect sleep.
No name-calling, threats, or public scenes.
If either partner is flooded (heart racing, shaking), call a timeout (20–30 minutes), then resume with one clear question at a time.
5) If you’re the partner who cheated (rapid repair behaviors)
End all contact now and make it verifiable (a brief, respectful no-contact message if required, then block/remove access).
Offer time-limited transparency (e.g., location sharing, calendars) agreed in writing, reviewed monthly.
Avoid “trickle truth.” Prepare a concise timeline without graphic detail; answer the same questions as many times as needed.
State what will be different this week (changed commute, desk move, team transfer, social boundaries).
6) If you’re the betrayed partner (protect your energy)
Decide the scope of answers you want (facts vs. graphic details).
Set a cadence (e.g., Q&A at 7pm for 30 minutes).
Use A/B choices when overwhelmed: “I want answers now / tomorrow morning.”
It’s okay to pause investigations that fuel anxiety at night.
7) Digital boundaries (reduce re-injury)
If you choose a digital audit, make it legal, consensual, and time-limited; agree on exactly what’s checked and when.
Turn off algorithmic “memories” and mute triggers on social platforms.
Keep screenshots/evidence in a single, secure folder—don’t re-read repeatedly.
8) Create a “stability script” for surges
When a trigger hits, say: “I’m activated. I need 10 minutes. I’ll come back.”
Do a 90-second physiology reset (long exhale, cold water, wall push).
Name the feeling + need: “I’m scared; I need reassurance about no contact.”
9) Immediate environment changes that build trust
Rearrange routines to eliminate proximity to the affair person (work schedules, routes, gyms).
Share daily logistics (who/where/when) until both feel steadier.
Visible phone habits: phone face up, do-not-disturb rules agreed together.
10) A simple “repair ledger” (proof over promises)
Each day, the involved partner records one concrete repair action (e.g., “emailed HR to request transfer”).
The betrayed partner notes one thing that helped, even if small (e.g., “answered calls promptly”).
Review weekly for patterns—not to erase hurt, but to see momentum.
11) Handle triggers in public and private
Public plan: key phrase + exit option (bathroom break, step outside, drive home).
Private plan: a short object to ground you (smooth stone, ice pack), one song that calms, one guided breathing track.
12) Decide who knows and what you’ll say
Draft a one-paragraph shared statement for family/friends: truthful, non-graphic, no blame-dumping.
Tell only need-to-know people who can support, not inflame.
13) Kids in the home (reduce collateral harm)
Keep routines predictable (mealtimes, school, bedtime).
Use a kid-safe script: “We’re having a hard time, but we’re handling it. You’re safe, and none of this is your fault.”
Do not use children as messengers or spies.
14) Reconnection micro-habits (if you’re exploring repair)
Daily 10-minute check-in: “What I felt today,” “What I did to repair,” “What you can expect tomorrow.”
Reassurance deposits: proactive texts about schedule changes; photos of context (e.g., work event).
Touch with consent only; don’t rush intimacy. Start with nonsexual closeness (walks, shared meals).
15) If separation space is needed
Agree on duration, contact rules, finances, and ground rules for other relationships.
Keep a predictable check-in time (e.g., 15 minutes every other day) to prevent guesswork spirals.
16) Body-level calm (because trust injuries live in the nervous system)
Breathing: inhale 4, exhale 8 for 2–3 minutes.
Movement: fast walk or stairs until mildly breathless; let adrenaline burn off.
Cold cue: 30–60 seconds cold water to face or wrists to dampen panic.
17) Nourish identity outside the crisis
One solo activity that reminds you who you are (instrument, sport, book in sunlight).
One friend contact per day (even a 2-line text).
Limit alcohol and late-night scrolling that intensify lows.
18) Money + logistics clarity lowers anxiety
Make a one-page snapshot: current bills, accounts, passwords (stored securely), upcoming obligations.
Choose one admin task to finish today (auto-pay, cancel subscription, set reminder).
19) Journaling prompts that move you forward
Betrayed partner: “What hurts most today?” “What helps for 10% relief?” “What boundary gives me steadiness?”
Involved partner: “What concrete action proves safety today?” “Where did I minimize or deflect?” “What triggers my defensiveness?”
20) Red flags that mean escalate support now
Any violence, threats, stalking, or coercive control.
Persistent suicidal thoughts or inability to perform basics (eat, sleep, hygiene).
Uncontrolled substance use to cope.
Ongoing contact with the affair partner despite agreements.
21) Milestone planning (so dates don’t ambush you)
Put potential triggers on the calendar (anniversaries, trips, holidays).
Draft Plan A (commemorate/repair) and Plan B (lowest-energy option).
Ask one trusted person to check in that day.
22) Three-path clarity (for when you’re ready to think ahead)
Path 1: Explore repair (structured honesty, boundaries, daily proof).
Path 2: Compassionate separation (clear steps, legal/financial safety).
Path 3: Undecided with stability practices for 30–60 days while data accumulates.
You don’t need to do everything here. Pick two or three steps that make today more manageable. Add more when your energy returns.
Infidelity Recovery Often Comes with Company
Betrayal trauma frequently overlaps with anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, and obsessive thinking patterns. Treating infidelity effectively means addressing the full picture, not just one part.
Serving Austin and Beyond
I provide infidelity and betrayal recovery treatment for clients in:
Austin, Barton Creek, Bastrop, Bee Cave, Bertram, Blanco, Briarcliff, Brushy Creek, Buda, Burnet, Cedar Park, Circle C, Creedmoor, Dripping Springs, Elgin, Florence, Georgetown, Granger, Great Hills, Hays, Hutto, Jarrell, Johnson City, Jonestown, Jollyville, Kyle, Lago Vista, Lakeway, Leander, Liberty Hill, Lockhart, Luling, Manor, Marble Falls, Martindale, Meadowlakes, Mountain City, Mustang Ridge, New Braunfels, Niederwald, Pflugerville, Point Venture, River Place, Rollingwood, Round Rock, San Marcos, Smithville, Steiner Ranch, Sunset Valley, Taylor, The Domain, The Hills, Thrall, Volente, Webberville, Weir, West Lake Hills, Wimberley, Woodcreek, Zilker, and throughout all of Texas!